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Aug
18
During the recent opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympic Games, I spied several athletes wearing dark-tinted sunglasses while entering the bird’s nest. Though it was after 9pm, and completely dark, the number of athletes with shades began to surprise me, and begs the questions- why would one wear sunglasses indoors and at night? 1980s singer/songwriter Corey Hart hit the charts with his single ‘Sunglasses at night,’ a song of little lyrical or musical value but with an intense amount of idiosyncrasies, no possible solutions were provided in his ‘hit’ song, so I set out on a journey to answer this epic question myself.
Aside from looking cool (as Morpheus, and all Matrix escapees in that epic trilogy, made popular) there has to be a logical reason for wearing shades—designed to protect your eyes from light—when there is little or no light from which to protect oneself.
In a previous article I discussed the various strengths and weaknesses of each sunglasses tint. You’ll recall that some tints enhance contrast while others reduced glare or softened fluorescent, indoor light. None of the recent Olympians were wearing green, yellow or brown tinted shades, no ladies and gentlemen these shades were tinted the traditional dark black.
After dedicating a bit more time than was logical and dissecting the phenomenon of night-time sun protection gear, I came up with the following reasons a person might choose to wear sunglasses at night. Black tinted shades indoors are presumably used for one of six reasons. 1) to look cool and nonchalant; 2) To hide the emotions in your eyes; 3) to intimidate; 4) in some rare cases, for health reasons; 5) to hide from paparazzi; 6) or, and this is the pessimist in me, to hide an ugly mug.
Of the above six reasons for wearing shades at night, there are some with merit and some that simply make the wearer a tool. To look cool is a silly reason to wear sunglasses at night. Everyone around you isn’t noticing how super fantastic you are, instead they are wondering if you noticed the sun was gone, or that you were indoors. They are looking at you and contemplating your IQ. Scratch looking cool as a logical reason to wear sunglasses at night—it isn’t logical nor is it cool.
Reason number two, to hide your emotions. Now, this may be a logical reason for a sixteen your old who is not in control of their hormones. After age 20 or so, society expects you to be able to walk around without crying or screaming at the people you encounter. If you are not a pre-pubescent teen then this excuse does not apply to you.
‘logical’ reason number three- to intimidate. Now, if you are not a cop, or the terminator then this option does not apply to you. I think that effectively rules out most of the population. Cops try to intimidate because more often than not they are aware of how very fragile their power really is. Intimidation usually is a mask for fear, though I freely admit that I doubt the terminator is afraid of much.
The fourth possible explanation has some merit. Those who suffer from sun damage to the retina can get prescription sunglasses that are safe to wear at night and while driving, as they reduce traffic glare and have high polarization. Prescriptions specific to night driving or retinal damage in some areas require proof of prescription, as some states have laws against sunglasses at night or those with vision problems driving without their glasses or contacts. Indeed, US driver’s licenses have a section on the back listing driving impairments and their required corrections in order to drive. This is a slim number of people with paperwork to prove their sunglasses at night are legitimate. If you don’t have the papers—don’t claim the excuse!
Hiding from paparazzi, our fifth possible explanation also has some merit. However, if I were a paparazzi star I would scope out people wearing sunglasses at night on the assumption that in Hollywood people with large hats and sunglasses when the sun is down are probably the people I should be photographing.
Finally, the ugly mug concept. I think this is merit to this claim as well. Personally, I think sunglasses at night are, as previously mentioned, a factor in determining IQ. Perhaps my standards are a big high, but an unintelligent person is a less attractive one to me.
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